I spent three years living with a Japanese host family during my studies at a Japanese language school and then graduate school in Tokyo. I was very fortunate to find a good family whom I had met via a summer school some years before, and my experiences were nothing but positive. However, there are certainly pros and cons to staying with a host family—and I have friends who were not as lucky as me—so I thought I’d share a few thoughts to help anyone currently debating a homestay.
A limited number of language schools offer the option (usually only to short-term or summer school students) of staying with a host family during their time in Japan. The benefits are obvious: linguistic immersion and the opportunity to see “real life” in Japan outside of the classroom.
The Linguistic and Cultural Deep Dive
It is no secret that the general level of English is very low in Japan, and so you’ll be forced to use the Japanese you learned in class immediately. This helps immensely when it comes to improving, but it can also be stressful for beginners when a lack of vocabulary and grammar makes saying even the most basic things taxing. This pressure is occasionally heightened when you see other classmates retiring in the afternoon to dormitories where they can spend the rest of the day with others from their own country or classmates of the same age.
Moreover, while dormitories are usually located close to the language schools, no school has hordes of Japanese families queuing up at their doors to sign up for homestay programs. Consequently, more often than not, you’ll have to travel quite a bit further each day. In my case, my host family was based in Urawa in Saitama, the prefecture north of Tokyo. This meant a door-to-door commute of over one hour in the morning to my school in Shinjuku and resulted in a train-timetable-imposed curfew when out with friends in the evening.
Logistics and the “Luck” Factor
Of course, there is a significant element of luck involved. From the start, my host family gave me a key to the house and were flexible about times and dinners, busy as they were with their own daily lives. Other friends who enrolled in homestay programs had strict evening curfews and set times for meals. Ultimately, there is always the reality that some families may have signed up for financial reasons rather than the pure pleasure of helping someone else understand the culture and values of their country.
While I’m naturally biased, the general consensus among friends who participated in short-term homestay programs was overwhelmingly positive. The thing that everyone seemed to take away—more than the boost to their language skills—was the cultural experience itself. After all, the structured environment of the classroom can only go so far in teaching you about everyday life in Japan. Cultural activities and outings like tea ceremonies and taiko drum performances, interesting as they may be, are a different thing altogether from living the day-to-day “lull” of a Japanese household.
Building Lifelong Roots
The reality is that of all those attending summer courses, only a minority will go on to truly take their language studies to the point of fluency or make a longer-term move to Japan. But while your language skills may get rusty over the years, the memories and experience you gain from even just a few weeks with a Japanese host family will not fade. Indeed, the relationship may turn into something well above a simple arrangement for accommodation.
For me, this has certainly been the case; even the words “host family” and “homestay” feel strange to me now when I think about my family here. My time in a “real life” environment subconsciously prepared me for settling down in Japan; it gave me roots that have made the country feel like a second home rather than “abroad.”
So, if you’re looking at summer courses and considering a homestay, unless you absolutely must be as close to central Tokyo and free of restrictions as possible, I would say that what you can potentially gain from the experience far outweighs the minor stresses that come as part of the package.